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Kids and Bombs, Questions and Kings

April 17, 2013 in Faith/Hope/Love, Personal with 6 Comments

Yesterday evening, I sat in my living room with my 9-year-old son, Evan. My wife had the news turned on and, naturally, they were running a story on the Boston Marathon bombing. As Evan tuned in and watched the video footage in silence, Erica looked and him and asked, “Do you know what is happening here? Did you hear about this at school?”

Evan replied that he had heard about the bombing, and proceeded to recount his understanding of the tragedy. He pretty much knew all he needed to. Some sicko planted a couple bombs in a crowd and blew some people to bits.

As we moved to the kitchen table to enjoy microwaved hotdogs and leftover corn-on-the-cob, I asked Evan if he had any questions about what he saw on the news.

“Do they still make bombs that are black and a sphere and have a string sticking out the top that you light, and that can also float?”

“No, buddy. I don’t think they really look like that anymore.”

“Oh.” Pause. Then, “Dad?”

“Yes, Evan?”

“Why would someone want to bomb a race?”

And there was the question I knew would come. It was the question that our country was asking on Monday. It was the question that seemed to awake and roll around in our collective consciousness first thing Tuesday morning, even before we managed to hit the snooze alarm to delay the start of a new day. Continue Reading…

Going Downhill Fast

March 5, 2013 in Faith/Hope/Love, Personal with 1 Comment

This past weekend my family had the chance to enjoy a night of snow tubing* at Perfect North with some good friends and family. The thing about snow tubing is that there is no skill involved. At all. There is no comparison to skiing or snowboarding, which both require a person to log many practice hours before being able to get down a slope without falling. It more closely resembles sledding, although in a sled there still significant room for user control in “ruddering” the sled with your hands.

Snow tubing eliminates all of that. You just go down. Really fast.

As our families hit the slopes, an interesting dynamic revealed itself right away. At first, everyone hit a solo run, or in some cases paired up tubes with a young child or a Tubey Newbie™.** There was the usual trash-talking about who would get to the bottom first, who would push whom down which hill, etc. When all was said and done, however, there was something largely unsatisfying about riding solo. All the factors that make for an exciting run (speed, distance, getting airborne off of the bumps, etc.) are limited by your own weight. When you ride alone, you max those out pretty quickly.

Over on the Super Slope, however, you can pony up with a whole group – up to 8 tubes linked together. I’m sure there is some sort of physics equation that can tell you exactly how the increased mass + inertia + surface area = faster, but since I got a 0% on my physics final exam (true story) in college I don’t know what that is. But it sure was fun!***

With a group all linked together, the thrill increased exponentially. We went faster, slid farther, bumped higher, laughed louder, and crashed harder. Instead of competing against each other to be the first one to the bottom, the collective goal was to crash into the barriers at the far end of the slow-down. And despite the fact that tubing together took no more skill than it did alone, it seemed much more fun when we met our goal and actually did come to a crashing halt together. Continue Reading…

The Last Thing You Hear

February 1, 2013 in Faith/Hope/Love, Personal with 0 Comments


What if goodbyes were beautiful?

Most of us commonly view saying goodbye as a difficult, often hyper-emotional moment. And there certainly are times where this is true.* When a parting is permanent, or when the next “hello” is far off somewhere beyond the horizon, saying goodbye can be heart-wrenching.

But there are so many other smaller, everyday goodbyes.
Hi mum! Hi DAD!

  • We drop our kids off at school.
  • We close our eyes for the night.
  • We walk out of a co-worker’s office.
  • We watch a customer leave the store.

…and the list goes on.

What if we treated each casual parting of ways as an opportunity to make someone’s day beautiful? Continue Reading…

My Bad, Barack.

January 29, 2013 in Faith/Hope/Love, Leadership, Personal with 7 Comments

Mr. President, I owe you an apology. Let me explain:

I have been fairly critical of you ever since your first presidential campaign. I don’t agree with many of your stances on important issues, some of your policies seem like they are moving our country in the wrong direction, and I always get the sense that your administration is one that will over-promise, but under-deliver.

But do you know what? All of that is neither here nor there. My response to your presidency should come down to one thing: you are The Man. The bottom line, Mr. President, is that my attitude towards you has not been appropriate. Instead of respect and support, mine has been more of condemnation and sarcasm. Now don’t get me wrong: I fully believe that Americans should be able to stand up for what they believe in without fear of punishment or retribution by the government. That is America. But speaking up for my beliefs does not have to go hand in hand with open criticism of our leaders.

You are the President of the United States of America. This did not happen by accident. You were voted in by a majority. And the more important thing for me to keep in mind is that your election did not happen outside of the sovereign will of God. My God is not surprised – nor is he upset, frustrated, disappointed, etc. – by this. He is, after all, God. But I had lost sight of that – at least to the degree where it truly impacted me with an appropriate Christian response. Continue Reading…

Why I Left (And Why I’m Coming Back)

January 16, 2013 in Personal with 0 Comments

I have been noticeably absent from this blog since August of last year. Over the past five months, I have only dropped a couple of new posts. Now that 2013 is in full swing, I plan on reengaging and reviving this forum. In doing so, I figured it apropos to clarify a few things to get us all up to date with one another.

Why I Stopped Writing

  • Life Got Busy - In September, we finally opened up The Cairn. This was the culmination of almost two years of my focus. Opening the coffee house was far more chaotic than I ever imagined it would be, and it took every once of my energy to make it work. There were countless people who poured themselves into this ministry, and we all shared a great burden and excitement. But it drained me. There was no time for the creative process and “down time” for writing.
  • I Speak Too Quickly - Make no mistake, blogging is not journalism. Some do not even consider blogging to be “actual” writing. That’s ok. But in the world of online information, so much of what makes a good blog depends heavily on being informed of current events, and then responding to those events in the public forum. Over the past few months, my attention was so focused on my work that I had little time for “staying informed,” much less writing about it. But of equal concern for me was the fact that I recognized a tendency in myself to speak too quickly in an attempt to stay current. The truth is that I am often more foolish than I am wise, and by wanting to react quickly on the blog to events around the world, I have on more than one occasion put my foot in my mouth. Twitter has revealed this to me in a very real way: when things (like Sandy Hook) happen, it becomes very easy to tweet and retweet initial, carnal, emotional responses. This is both ok, and also not. I want to learn to balance that better and maintain discernment with my online presence. One of my reasons for not rushing back to this blog is because I wanted to force myself to listen more and speak a little more slowly.
  • False Identity – I have no problem admitting that I can be quite prideful and vain. I don’t like it, but it’s a fact. As my job in ministry has put me in greater positions of public visibility, this has become more and more apparent. Social media and online “platforms” like blogging can often fuel that fire of self-importance. I found that in different seasons over the past few years, I had become too focused on my “network worth” and less content in my true identity as a sinner saved by the grace of God. Things like blog comments, Facebook followers, site stats, Twitter RTs, etc. all have a way of creating a false sense of identity and worth. Time away from the blog has been a great reminder for me that my identity is found in Christ alone, and I can honestly say that, while I value my online networks and relationships, they do not consume or define me.

    • Continue Reading…

The Top 5: Ways To Leave a Great Legacy

November 7, 2012 in Personal, Top 5 with 0 Comments

1) Marry well.

Jack Albert Daniel (aka, Bert) Attwell did that, taking Joyce as his bride just as he was going off to war. She was the kind of wife who would stand by his side through everything, and he knew it.  A half-dozen decades later and Joyce was still standing by his side. Even as Alzheimer’s slowly tore away at the memory of so many of those years, they were together at the end, more than 71 years later.

2) Have kids.

Bert had lots. Seven to be exact. And seven children can have a way of turning into seven families, which can easily multiply into twenty-five grand children. And a gazillion great-grand-children.* And that is exactly what happened. A life of meaning and success can make a mark on the world, but when that mark is carried in the hearts of a new generation, the echoes of one life can be heard throughout eternity.

3) Laugh more than you should.

Grandpa had a joke for everything. Quick with one-liners and always ready to set someone up for a punchline, he never seemed to take himself or anybody else too seriously. It seemed that Grandpa’s intent in every situation was to make you feel at ease. As a child, I would sit on his lap for hours it seemed, prodding and pulling on his nose, his ears, his cheeks, as he would make different sounds and faces, each of which would result in my own burst of hysterical laughter. Even the last time I saw him, sitting quietly in a wheelchair, staring quietly at my children with a faint smile on his face, I had the impression that if I poked his belly he would erupt into a boisterous “HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!” I will never forget his laugh. Continue Reading…

You Took It Too Far

October 26, 2012 in Leadership, Personal with 2 Comments

First off, hi there. It’s been a couple of months since I have been able to spend time here on Action Speaks. A lot has been going on. I can’t wait to share it with you. But not right now. In some ways, I hate that my first post back after a hiatus is politically charged, but this subject just bothered me so much that I had share it. So no apologies. Just read on and let me know if I’m way off the mark.

Let me get to the point…

Barack Obama’s campaign just released a new ad that is generating a lot of buzz. This was most likely their intent. In this case, however, I feel that the President and his campaign managers made a big mistake. This new ad features a young woman talking about her “first time.” She refers to doing it with “a great guy”; with “someone who really cares about women.” The ad clearly targets young college-age women and subtly mocks those who are of age but don’t “do it” because they aren’t ready. Continue Reading…

The Man Card

July 14, 2012 in Faith/Hope/Love, Leadership, Personal with 1 Comment

A good friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook last night of some pretty incriminating activity. The caption read: “Daddy/Daughter Date. Can you guess where we are? I lose my man card, I suppose.”

There he sat, next to his 11-year-old daughter. In a big cozy chair. Surrounded by women. Getting a pedicure.

Now, I am sure that some very confident men may read this and argue that pedicures are wonderful and make a perfectly acceptable addition to the male-grooming habits…but those men are wrong.* There are few things that call the legitimacy of man’s “man card” into question faster than a pedicure.**

But lighthearted comments and manscaping preferences aside, my friend’s picture speaks of something much deeper than simple jokes. Here is a small glimpse of the reality: (for more information and additional facts, see the National Fatherhood Initiative): Continue Reading…

When It All Seems Worth It

April 25, 2012 in Personal with 0 Comments

My kids are now 6 and 8, which means they have been playing recreational sports for a few years now. For a while they alternated seasons between soccer and baseball, but after experiencing the craziness of two Little League schedules last year*, we coerced the kids into sticking with soccer this Spring. When they first started playing team sports, I claimed that my schedule was too hectic for me to volunteer as a coach, so I settled for simply showing up and sitting on the sidelines for all the practices and games.

…and complaining about what the coaches could be doing better…

So finally my wife, who is a genius and also is beautiful, said to me, “If you think you can do better, why don’t you just coach? You go to all the practices anyway!” And then she also said very affirming things about how I would be good at it and all.

She was right. I was making excuses. I needed to just suck it up and coach. So, when we moved to Kentucky last year and my kids registered for Fall soccer, I took the plunge and volunteered to coach my daughter’s U-6 team. I showed up to the requisite meetings, I picked up a few practice cones and a mesh ball bag from Wal-Mart, and jumped in.

I was immediately amazed at how difficult it is to keep a group of six children (ages 4-6) focused on the sound of my voice for more than 10 seconds at a time. We dribbled the ball, we ran around cones, we chased each other, and we were a remarkably unimpressive team. But I think we were having fun.

At least, I think most of us were having fun. Continue Reading…

Why Wait? (part 2 of 2)

April 5, 2012 in Action, Faith/Hope/Love, Personal with 1 Comment

Last week, I wrote a post about patience and the fact that God works even in the waiting. If you missed that one, you can read it here. Today I want to follow up a little bit more…

I am a dreamer, notsomuch a planner. I tend to be a spur-of-the-moment, don’t-have-to-have-everything-worked-out-in-advance kind of guy. I love dreaming up possibilities for the future and talking about things that could be, so whenever I start actually taking steps towards turning these dreams into reality my focus is usually on my image of what the endgame actually looks like. And I can dream pretty big, so my idea of a preferred future is usually pretty awesome.

But how often has the “future” actually turned out like I dreamed up and prepared for? That happens about as often as I weave living room drapes from the hair of a unicorn’s mane.* And yet, between the dreaming and the fulfillment of a dream, amidst all the requisite waiting and planning and waiting that comes with moving forward, I too often find myself at a point of frustration. Inevitably, however, God steps in at some point in the process to remind me of the fact that His plans are so much greater than mine; that He can dream up a whole lot more than I can.**

'Patience' photo (c) 2011, Andrew Hart - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/So you know about this coffee house/teen center project that I have been working on for the past 18 months. Well, it has taken a whole lot longer to come to fruition than I ever imagined. By some original estimates, we are 12 or 14 months behind schedule. Honestly, there have been points during this process where the waiting has become almost unbearable, yet I have been powerless to make anything move faster. I already explained the perspective God gave me a couple weeks ago: the fact that He works even in the waiting. But there’s more. Continue Reading…

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